This Rural Montana Wedding Saw Guests Take Part in Farming Activities, a Chinese Tea Ceremony, and a Vow of Silence (2024)

When Sophia Li went on her first-ever app date (and her first in over a year) in the summer of 2019, she had zero expectations. “I only went on the date because it was a homework assignment from an energy healer and therapist I was working with at that time,” the multimedia journalist, climate advocate, and former Vogue editor explains. To her surprise, she and her now husband—Lawrence DeSimone, an FDNY first responder who works in city planning—hit it off right away, discussing everything from attachment styles to waste-management systems in Japan, all over a cup of kava tea.

From there, the relationship “got serious pretty quickly,” with Sophia moving into Lawrence’s Brooklyn apartment in May 2020, a few months into the pandemic. “We always say that if we had met earlier in our lives, it probably wouldn’t have worked out,” Sophia says. “Our relationship was all about timing and doing the self work.”

Three years later, Lawrence decided to pop the question—but first there was the small matter of asking Sophia’s father for her hand in marriage. “The first time he asked my dad for his blessing to propose, my dad didn’t give him an answer as they had just met for the first time,” the bride says, explaining that her dad was unable to travel from China to the US for the first three years of their relationship due to COVID-19 restrictions. “Lawrence asked my dad again when he went to China to visit my extended family.”

In the end, there were two proposals too. Lawrence had planned to propose on a family trip to Bali, Indonesia, during a volcano hike at sunrise. But feeling anxious, he proposed in a rice paddy a day earlier before going ahead with the original plan. “We count the second time as the real proposal, as that’s when we were both the most present,” Sophia says.

While Lawrence proposed with his mother’s engagement ring as a placeholder, the couple turned to New York brand Devereux Collection to design a custom ring, comprising a jade stone sourced from Tibet by Sophia’s father at the center, 12 diamonds around it, and gold melted down from Lawrence’s mother’s jewelry collection. “There’s a diamond to represent each person in both of our immediate families,” Sophia explains. “It’s a symbolic way to have our families together and represent this new family we’re starting.”

The couple discussed a range of wedding options, including an elopement, local wedding, destination wedding, and multiple weddings so Sophia’s family in China could join the celebration. Eventually, they decided upon Bodhi Farms near Bozeman, Montana—despite not visiting the site in person until days before the celebrations. “After finding the location, we didn’t feel the need to take an extra flight just to scout it out,” the bride says. “We trusted our decision and were excited to experience it for the first time with our guests. We are very much big trees, big mountains kind of people, and the main priority was that the property was a climate solution everyone could learn about immersively while staying there.”

After setting their wedding date, the couple decided to officially tie the knot in their home of New York City on April 8. There was only one snag: “We ended up getting our marriage license at New York City Hall and had our actual civil ceremony in Brooklyn, due to the state law of having to wait 24 hours between obtaining a marriage license and having the ceremony,” explains Sophia, who wore a One/Of dress made of deadstock materials and a handmade Jennifer Behr voilette. “I guess we do everything in twos,” she jokes.

With the official paperwork out of the way, the bride and groom headed to Montana at the start of August for their wedding festivities. Together with wedding planner Jasmine Lilly of Dandelion Vow,, they enlisted Wild Productions to set up leave-no-trace glamping tents, where family and friends stayed during the three-day celebration.

For the first night, the couple opted for a Yellowstone dress code, inspired by both the TV show and the nearby national park. In keeping with the theme, Sophia wore a Zimmermann dress sourced from Vestiaire Collective, paired with a cowboy hat and boots that she already owned, while Lawrence wore a Sézane linen suit. After dinner, the bride and groom asked some close friends and family to roast them, before engaging in a rap battle—an admittedly unusual choice for a wedding. “It was the best way to break the ice for our guests,” Lawrence says. “We wanted to make ourselves look a little bit silly so that everyone else would feel comfortable.”

The following morning, guests enjoyed yoga, Pilates, or a run before taking part in farming activities—such as garlic picking, tree planting, and burdock clearing—led by the owners of the 35-acre permaculture farm, Rayner and Tanya Smith, who have been implementing sustainable practices to improve biodiversity, soil quality, and carbon storage since purchasing the property in 2019. “We wanted people to learn about the farm in a very organic way and make an impact on the property,” Sophia explains. “We didn’t just want to be guests.”

After lunch, the couple asked their friend Evelynn Escobar, founder of nonprofit Hike Clerb, to lead a land acknowledgment before local environmentalist Claire Vlases—one of 16 youth activists who successfully sued the state of Montana for violating their constitutional right to a clean environment—spoke to guests. Later, everyone was invited to take a three-hour vow of silence. “It resets everything,” Sophia says of the act. “You appreciate nature and your surroundings so much more.”

That evening, the couple took part in a traditional Chinese tea ceremony. The bride wore a red silk dress featuring a balloon skirt made using 20th-century kimonos by Olivia Cheng’s Dauphinette, while the groom sported a traditional red jacket from East Meets Dress. “This night was to honor our ancestors, heritage, and family,” explains Sophia.

For the wedding itself, the couple opted for an outdoor ceremony officiated by one of their closest friends, Lydia Pang. “We wanted it to be very ritualistic and sacred but in our own way,” says the bride, who chose an archival open-front dress and pants by Gabriela Hearst for the occasion, along with a custom hand-embroidered veil by Atelier Jolie and the Afghanistan brand Zarif.

Post-ceremony, guests made their way over to co*cktail hour before enjoying an alfresco three-course dinner that was interspersed with speeches and toasts from family and friends. After a rendition of the Killers’ “Mr. Brightside,” guests made their way onto the dance floor, where they were treated to a live performance by the Wildfire. Then the group migrated to a separate after-party area in the trees, where the couple’s friend Danielle Powell DJ’d into the early hours of the morning and Sophia was presented with a hot-Cheeto cake as she turned 33 at midnight.

Looking back, the couple agrees that the three days they spent in Montana, surrounded by their loved ones, was so much more than just a wedding. “We wanted it to be like this sleepaway adult camp, where you come back a changed person,” Sophia reflects. “I was blown away by how much meaning it gave me to connect with people and nature, even though that was the intention.” Lawrence adds: “I’m feeling so grateful and blessed. It was more fun than I could have imagined.”